Lost and Found

I strayed from His presence
I thought I would find freedom
I thought I would gain great riches
I thought I could find more joy
But I did not

I found myself in darkness
I was struck by evil men
They struck me and caused pain
Then the LORD crushed me
For I had betrayed Him

Then I turned home 
My eyes swollen
My limbs bruised
My body crushed
Stomach emptied

The LORD took pity on me
He wiped my tears
Healed my limbs
He straightened my back
Filled my stomach

Though my name was dirty
Though I hade no honor
He shined my name like gold
He raised me above the highest kings
His grace has made me great

O child in darkness!
O lost brother!
O confused sister!
Follow the savior!
He is the only guide home!

The road home is narrow and steep
None can find it without a guide!
None can follow it without falling!
So follow in the saviors footsteps!

By TKH Hamilton 



I always thought we would stand together
I thought you’d be with me at the very end
We’d storm hades together
We’d laugh together
We’d stare down everything evil

I never thought I’d look to my side
Only to find you weren’t there
When did I lose you?
Where did they take you?
How did I miss it?

Do you know what you were?
Do you know who you were to me?
We were never enemies
We were never supposed to fight
We were brothers

So brother of mine
I want you to know I love you
I wept with you for your father
I wept for you with our father
I weep because you are so far from home

If you are Prometheus 
Who hates the God
Who rages against his work
Who shall I be?
I think I am Pandora 

My box has but one thing
When ready I’ll give hope living

By TKH Hamilton 

Penumbra: Debt (part one of two) And an announcement 

Julia felt the pain before anything else returned. Every breath sent ripples of pain through her chest. She didn’t even know she was breathing, just the pain radiating from her chest. Slowly though other senses returned. The sound of muffled voices and a heart rate monitor. It felt like years that she lay there with the voices. Mom, orange, and E drifted in and out of the deafening pain. Then one voice brought her out. 
“Rookie.” The voice was clear and warm. Her eyes opened and she caught sight of Σ. He looked at her from above. Her eyes snapped shut and she let out a groan. The sound of a dial turning was followed by a feeling of relaxing muscles in Julia. “Better Kiddo?” Julia didn’t speak and Σ took that as an affirmative. “Sorry Julia. I’d explain what I did but you’re too doped up to get it. You’re probably too angry to believe me either.” He sighed through his nose. “I saved your life Shepherd. I traded an instant and painless death for the pain you’re in. Sorry about that rookie. Sit tight, it will pass. I’ve gotta go, I’m supposed to be long gone.” 
Captain Shepherd knew Σ. He had served under her long enough to be family. She knew how he fought. She knew how he thought. She knew what broke his heart and what mended it. So it was no surprise to her that after the encounter with Baron Von Todersfurcht, he would try to run. He didn’t seem surprised to see her sitting on his tailgate when he arrived. He didn’t try to lie. He simply walked up and sat down. She wrapped an arm around him and he looked off. 
“How long will you need?” She asked him softly.
“I don’t know ma’am. I’m sorry. I let you down.” Σ spoke at the ground. 
“Take two weeks. You haven’t had any leave in a year.” She looked at him. Σ opened his mouth to speak. “No that does not count, you were incapacitated.” Σ shut his mouth. “With all that has happened a little rest and a little time away will do you good. You are too close to the edge for comfort. I knew Mordred, I watched him teeter. I watched one of my best friends fall. I don’t want that for you.”
“Ma’am. Todersfurcht is at large. His men-” Captain Shepherd dismissed him.
“Two weeks. See your family. Get some rest. Face your monsters. Come back to us stronger Σ. That is an order.” Captain Shepherd rose and left the garage. She stopped to hear Σ’s tires scream out of the garage. As he left so too did some of her daughter’s debt. Some paid in magic and the other borne by Σ. 

By TKH Hamilton 

TLDR: I’m taking a break from Penumbra. If you like it tell me so I keep going. 

Hello readers! I hope you enjoy this as season one of Penumbra comes to a close! It has been a joy to write these. It provided me with a chance to tell the stories of one of the many magical “what ifs” in my mind. As such, Penumbra will have a season 2, in just going to be trying to write higher quality work and need some time to do so. 
Penumbra season one ends next Tuesday with my “season finale” installment: “CEO”. In the break between seasons I plan on posting other fiction I’ve worked on. This includes a collaboration with my friend miss c.j. miller. 
So I hope you continue to enjoy what I wrote. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t think people wanted to read it. I am open to any comments or suggestions that make my writing and your reading more enjoyable.

Her and Romance 

I asked her if she’d ever written something. Some piece of music perhaps it was. Because I always fall for those girls. I asked her if she’d ever written for someone. Someone she maybe loved. That was what I was wondering. I asked her if she’d ever written a hard thing. Some “thing” she didn’t think “they” would like. I wonder who that person was. I asked her if she’d written something. 
Right now I’m writing something. It seems so obvious. It seems so ominous. Right now I’m not sure I want her to read it. It seems so personal. It seems so private. Right now I’m putting my heart out to the world. It sounds so wise and lofty. It seems so foolish and lowdown. Right now I’m writing something.
So here’s my heart. Look if you want to. Look away if you don’t. So here’s my heart for her. Feels like she’s the best thing. Feels like she’s the most dangerous. So here’s my heart in all this. Tastes like the sweetest poison. Tastes like the bitterest medicine. So here’s my heart. 
You see, for me romance is a drug. She is my drug and my entanglement. The feeling she gives when you, I mean her, I mean she, reads my work is a high. The poetry and stories I breathe for you, no her, are my clouds of exhaling smoke. Her touch makes my mind melt. You speak and it monopolizes my mind. I am tied down by you. Held down by you. I am a junkie and you are my supplier. You see for me romance is a drug. 
You. I don’t want you to have that much power. I don’t want to be your genie in a lap. Bound down by the urge and entangled in the chains. You. I want to be what you see. Free and wrapped in Dad’s armor. You. I don’t think you mean it. It isn’t in you to destroy me so thoroughly. You. 
It never was your fault. This is way older than us. Way deeper than any part of me you’ve seen. Honestly deeper than anything they’ve seen. I don’t know what you’d find if you peeled away my layers. The layers of good and bad. Would you find a layer that is the source of corruption? Would you encounter a layer of slime on a heart of gold? The layer of gunk that distorts my ability to love. Or would you peel to my core and find it rotten. That it can’t be repaired. That for me, romance will always corrupt me. That for me, there is no real ability to have healthy relationships. Would you bother to look? Now that you know this. Now that you’ve seen this? Should I let you? 

By TKH Hamilton

Ten Things I Don’t Believe 

I don’t believe that there is Nothing with a capital N, that there is nothing beyond what we experience.
I don’t believe hate is better than love, but that love drives out fear.
I don’t believe an unbreakable heart is a good thing to have
I don’t believe that we are without purpose
I don’t believe that compassion is weakness
I don’t believe we were made to be alone
I don’t believe the new way is always better, or that popular is always right.
I don’t believe our past defines our future
I don’t believe anyone is beyond the reach of grace
I don’t believe that God doesn’t love you

By TKH Hamilton 

Penumbra: Trap (part two of two)

The old house creaked in the gentle autumn wind. The decrepit shutters clattered in the breeze as the silver truck pulled around the corner and up the street. The purr of the engine died as soon as the car rolled into the drive way. The four occupants stepped out of the car and shut the doors. They walked silently up to the door as their coats flapped in the wind. One of them gave the rotting door a push and it creaked inward. The four slipped silently in and the last one shut the door behind. 
“Creepy.” Snickered Σ. The other three stood silently behind. He turned around to look at them. He sighed as he saw the disgust and shame in the girls’ eyes. “E what’s the plan?” 
“We can find it quicker in pairs. Eyes out and eyes on your partner. Something is not right here, find the target and neutralize it.” E replied and the others nodded. “Orange with me. Σ I want the basement examined.” Σ saluted and went down one hall. Julia followed behind him. 
Julia walked silently behind Σ. She watched as he ducked into each room and motioned for her to step behind. Part of her wanted to shoot him, right there, for what he’d done to Clark. After about a half dozen rooms later, Σ stopped and sighed.
“Don’t aim for the back of the head, or the heart.” Julia’s jaw dropped. Σ didn’t even turn. “The skull and ribs dissipate the light beam and protect the vitals. Go for the stomach or, if you’re less confident, the kidneys and liver are a good choice.” He turned to face her. “Well it won’t be the first time. Go ahead if you are going to do it. If not, stop lining me up.” 
“Why’d you hurt Clark?” Julia asked pointing her pistol at Σ’s gut.
“Would you believe me if I said I didn’t mean to?” 
“Should I?” Julia tightened her grip. 
“Yes. I didn’t realize wounds would carry across forms. He’s never been hurt before.” 
“So why now? Why build something that could hurt him?” Her hands shook as the image of Clark’s bloody body filled her mind.
“Would you be so upset if this had happened in reverse?” Σ asked flatly. “If I was the one beaten to a pulp?” Julia didn’t answer. “Or if it was E I had beaten?” No reply. “What about Orange?” No reply. “Point is your mad because it was Clark and you are afraid for him. If that fear is going to endanger the people of Smallfield, then kill me.” Julia looked in his eyes. She lowered the weapon.
“If he betrayed us, I could subdue him. Bring him back. I wouldn’t fail like last time.” Σ’s voice trailed off. He pushed a door open and found a long stair case. He brought a finger to his lips and drew his light. He rested his thumb over the switch as he stepped down the stairs. 
As the two agents came to the base of the stairs Σ held a hand to stop. Julia froze gripping her blaster tightly. Voices came from around the corner of the stairs. Julia craned to hear them. One sounded like a young man who’s voice cracked occasionally.  The other was deep and raspy like nails along a chalkboard. 
“Baron Von Todersfurcht! Please I beg forgiveness!” The first voice screamed and his voice cracked. When he had recovered he shrieked. “It isn’t our fault! They proved stronger than us, more prepared, swifter…” The sound of the man’s throat closing with a squelch ended the sentence. Σ peeked around the corner and held up ten fingers. 
“Nein!” Snarled the second voice. “The Führer is most displeased with your performance. Smallfield has yet to fall, even as weak as it’s defenders are. You are of no use to us.” The sound of bones breaking and a body hitting the floor followed. A gasp or two and Σ looked again. He showed nine fingers to Julia. “You there! You have been promoted. I sincerely hope you do better than your predecessor.”  A voice babbled just around the corner as Σ drew a cell phone out of his coat. He whispered a single word into it “Todersfurcht” then replaced it. He signaled Julia with three fingers. Then he held up two. Then only one remained. Then he rushed around the corner. Julia raced forward from the stair well. As she did she caught sight of a couch and dove behind it. 
“Congrats on the promotion.” Σ shouted as he smashed one of the figures to the ground. He smashed the man in the temple and she saw the man go limp. Julia popped up and took aim. The group consisted of teenagers, none older than high school age, all dressed the same. Black uniforms with gold and red trim. They wore shiny leather boots that came nearly to their knees. Then there was another. He stood almost seven feet tall, though upon his head was a helmet with a spike that scraped the ceiling. He bore a mantle the color of blood and trim with gold. Over one eye was a black patch with a gold skull on it. 
“Penumbra. How ironic, you appear just too late to save the life of the former commanding officer.” The Baron rasped. “Now I will strike down Smallfield and bring the shadows across the world.” He raised his right hand in a nazi salute and black lightning arced down on Σ. The blast struck the light from Σ’s flashlight turning it bright blue.  The energy blast deflected into the ceiling with a crash. Σ charged as the Baron drew a saber and swung at him. The two clashed and sparks flew. The blade of iron and light danced and sang with one another. 
Julia peeked up and tried to aim at the Baron. Though he was much larger than Σ, Σ was dodging and dancing all around the Baron. One of the other soldiers went for their weapon. Julia didn’t hesitate, didn’t think, didn’t flinch. Center of mass, two shots, target down. The others moved for cover as Julia emptied the clip into the air. Julia reloaded and peeked over the couch to take another set of shots. 
Todersfurcht and Σ swung at one another. Blue light and steel smashed into one another. Two soldiers charged the pair with a loud shout. Σ ducked below one and smashed him in the ribs. Julia shot the other one down with a single round. More shots flew towards her and she ducked behind cover. A bullet tore through the fabric right above her head. She peeked out of cover and fired again. Todersfurcht and Σ swung tirelessly at each other. The feeling like a fist smashing into her ribs threw Julia to the ground. She coughed and the world began to darken. 

By TKH Hamilton